Dark clouds were gathered outside. Inside, the mood was gloomy. It was obvious something was on his mind. That something was bothering him. The usual spring in the step was missing, the confidence gone. He had sat silently for most part of the day in the class. Not looking at anyone, keeping to himself. On the few occasions his friends had tried to engage him, he had merely shrugged. ‘Better be left alone.’ One of them had commented.
He knew he was distracted. He knew he was bothered. He wanted to vent it all out. But he knew no one would understand. He would be typecast as the ‘bad guy.’ How long would it last? How long would he be able to cope up with the feeling of helplessness and frustration before bursting out? He had been trying to focus on what the Professors were saying ever since the morning, trying harder than he had ever in his life. But every time, he would get swept away by a gloomy brooding train of thoughts. Trying hard to figure what had gone wrong. Trying to pinpoint exactly where things fell apart.
But was it the right thing to do? Was he over-reacting? Why did he feel as if he was losing control over his life? Why was he feeling lost and confused? So many questions… He looked around himself, as if hoping answers would magically appear. And then he saw her. Chirpy, bumbling, excited… as usual. Smiling. Smiling…. She noticed him looking at her, and then quickly turned away. What was she thinking? Once again, he lost all sense of time.
*****On the first day, he saw her.
And was smitten instantly. There was something about her that made her stand out of the crowd. Was it her dressing- black jean, yellow razor back and a black jacket? Or the innocence in her kohl-lined eyes? Perhaps it was her inconspicuous smile. It had to be the smile, the one she always wore. But he was never able to figure it out. He would never be, for something’s cannot be explained. For something’s can only be felt. For him, it was one of those things. And it was surprising, considering he had just come off a stormy relationship. Just when he had started to believe he would never feel it again, here was a girl who had threatened to turn his world upside down, inside out.
He had just settled down-on the back benches- with his new friends, promises of an exciting year ahead. The white-washed air conditioned room was brimming with people. Freshers, every one of them, were milling about. Random talks flew thick and fast in the air. Rapports were being formed, groups being created. The guys were checking out the chicks. Apprehensions of being subjected to ragging. In short, it was the regular first day of college.
Engrossed in the discussions, recounting incidences from school life, he noticed her walking into the class for the first time. For a while, she was the only one he could see. And then, she turned, and settled down. He felt something stir inside him. He felt the strange urge to go up to her and talk. Talk about anything. Talk about random stuff. Just talk. But he did not move******
The hour changed, the professor came. Students settled in their seats nosily. It was a full five minutes before order was restored. He eyed her. She was thinking about where to sit. Undecided. Contemplating. The chair beside him was unoccupied. ‘Would she come and sit here?’ he thought, fervently hoping she would. He looked at her intently, as if willing her to listen to his thoughts. She seemed to make a move for where he was sitting, then changed her mind and went and sat in the opposite direction. Silence ensued as everyone waited for the professor to say something. He opened the register, turned to a fresh page, and waited for her to dictate the notes. Playing lightly with the pen he held, he turned slightly to look over to where she was sitting. She was talking to the guy sitting next to her. The teacher began speaking. His hands moved to jot down the first few words, and then…
*****He was in the metro, going back home. His friends stood around him.
‘So, we’re Facebook friends now.’ Said one of them. He was tall, skinny and had a strange elegance about him.
‘Ah huh? Koi ni, I’ll send her a request abhi.’ He said, took out his phone, and with five taps, reached her profile. ‘Friend Request sent.’ He said with a grin.
‘It remains to be seen if she’ll accept your request.’ Retorted one of them. ‘I doubt she even knows you.’
He thought for a minute, and then said with a swagger, ‘I won’t give her a choice.’*****
His friend tapped at him. ‘Why are you not writing? She’s been staring at you for some time now,’ he leaned in and whispered, referring to the professor. He nodded at his friend in a disconcerting manner, and tried to pick what the teacher was saying. She was talking about the Class Division according to ancient Brahmanical texts. He knew about the topic. He remembered having read something sometime. He tried concentrating for a few minutes before realising it was futile and gave up. He shifted in his seat a little so that the person in front shielded him from the glaring stares of the professor, and once again let himself to be drifted away by his thoughts.
*****So I see you have not accepted my friend request, he inboxed her a full two weeks after he had first sent her the friend request. She hadn't accepted it all this time even when she had been coming online and talking to his other friends.
It took the girl another 3 hours to reply. 'Um, sorry I didn't see your friend request.' The next second, she accepted his friend request, and they started talking. The boy prided himself on his ability with words. 'There's just no one quite like me,' he always used to say.
They talked about random stuff at first. School. Colony. Interests. Then he asked her, 'So, how d'you travel to college?'
'Umm, I take the metro.'
'So how about metro-ing together?' he asked.
'Yeah sure. While coming back, we could metro together. It'd be difficult in the morning to coordinate.'
'There's a solution to everything.' he replied.
'Okay, give me your number.' ****
There was a commotion in the class as he came back to reality. Someone had entered into the room. He shifted to get a clear view. It was one of his friends. Evidently the teacher was furious because he had walked in late, though she had let him sit. The friend walked up to where he was sitting, and dropped heavily into the adjacent chair. 'Kya baat hai? Aaj akele betha hai?' what's the matter? Sitting all by your own? He asked him.
'Aise he,' he replied. Just like that.
*****'Why d'you always sit at the front? Don't you get bored?' he whatsapped her. They had been whatsapping for a few days now, but for some funny reason, barely acknowledged each other in college. The plan to metro together had proved to be futile. In the class, while he sat with his group at the back, she would always sit at the front, and hardly ever talk.
'You have no idea how boring it is.'
'Then why d'you sit at the front? Sit at the back. Trust me; you're missing out on a lot of fun.'
The next day, he got late for college. The first lecture was already halfway through when he entered with his friends. The classroom was full and thus they had to go stand at the back. The lecture was one he particularly detested so he began searching for her. He scanned the first two rows, but did not see her. His heart sunk. Dejectedly, he began looking for his other friends... Once the class got over, he would grab an empty chair and sit with them. Then his heart skipped a beat. There she was! Sitting right next to where he was planning to sit...*****
'Why are you distracted?' asked the professor, as he snapped out of his waking dreams. 'You should be writing.'
He nodded stupidly and looked at the open register in front of him. He didn't realise he had started scribbling random stuff along the margins. He looked at the time. Only thirty minutes had passed. He frowned. The time did not seem to pass at all. A far cry from the day when she used to sit with him and the entire day would pass before you'd even know.
She had started sitting with him since the day he had walked in late and spotted her sitting with his group. Since that day, slowly but surely, they had started coming close. By an unspoken consent, they had started waiting for each other at the metro station in the morning, sitting together and hanging out together, and leaving college together. In other words, they had come a long way. Everything had been going good and great before it all just fell apart.
His phone vibrated. He looked at the screen. 1 New message. It was from her.
'Are you pissed?'
'No'
'Yes I can see that. Tell me?'
'Nothing to say.'
'Tell me.'
'I don't want to go over the same thing again and again'
To be continued… !
He knew he was distracted. He knew he was bothered. He wanted to vent it all out. But he knew no one would understand. He would be typecast as the ‘bad guy.’ How long would it last? How long would he be able to cope up with the feeling of helplessness and frustration before bursting out? He had been trying to focus on what the Professors were saying ever since the morning, trying harder than he had ever in his life. But every time, he would get swept away by a gloomy brooding train of thoughts. Trying hard to figure what had gone wrong. Trying to pinpoint exactly where things fell apart.
But was it the right thing to do? Was he over-reacting? Why did he feel as if he was losing control over his life? Why was he feeling lost and confused? So many questions… He looked around himself, as if hoping answers would magically appear. And then he saw her. Chirpy, bumbling, excited… as usual. Smiling. Smiling…. She noticed him looking at her, and then quickly turned away. What was she thinking? Once again, he lost all sense of time.
*****On the first day, he saw her.
And was smitten instantly. There was something about her that made her stand out of the crowd. Was it her dressing- black jean, yellow razor back and a black jacket? Or the innocence in her kohl-lined eyes? Perhaps it was her inconspicuous smile. It had to be the smile, the one she always wore. But he was never able to figure it out. He would never be, for something’s cannot be explained. For something’s can only be felt. For him, it was one of those things. And it was surprising, considering he had just come off a stormy relationship. Just when he had started to believe he would never feel it again, here was a girl who had threatened to turn his world upside down, inside out.
He had just settled down-on the back benches- with his new friends, promises of an exciting year ahead. The white-washed air conditioned room was brimming with people. Freshers, every one of them, were milling about. Random talks flew thick and fast in the air. Rapports were being formed, groups being created. The guys were checking out the chicks. Apprehensions of being subjected to ragging. In short, it was the regular first day of college.
Engrossed in the discussions, recounting incidences from school life, he noticed her walking into the class for the first time. For a while, she was the only one he could see. And then, she turned, and settled down. He felt something stir inside him. He felt the strange urge to go up to her and talk. Talk about anything. Talk about random stuff. Just talk. But he did not move******
The hour changed, the professor came. Students settled in their seats nosily. It was a full five minutes before order was restored. He eyed her. She was thinking about where to sit. Undecided. Contemplating. The chair beside him was unoccupied. ‘Would she come and sit here?’ he thought, fervently hoping she would. He looked at her intently, as if willing her to listen to his thoughts. She seemed to make a move for where he was sitting, then changed her mind and went and sat in the opposite direction. Silence ensued as everyone waited for the professor to say something. He opened the register, turned to a fresh page, and waited for her to dictate the notes. Playing lightly with the pen he held, he turned slightly to look over to where she was sitting. She was talking to the guy sitting next to her. The teacher began speaking. His hands moved to jot down the first few words, and then…
*****He was in the metro, going back home. His friends stood around him.
‘So, we’re Facebook friends now.’ Said one of them. He was tall, skinny and had a strange elegance about him.
‘Ah huh? Koi ni, I’ll send her a request abhi.’ He said, took out his phone, and with five taps, reached her profile. ‘Friend Request sent.’ He said with a grin.
‘It remains to be seen if she’ll accept your request.’ Retorted one of them. ‘I doubt she even knows you.’
He thought for a minute, and then said with a swagger, ‘I won’t give her a choice.’*****
His friend tapped at him. ‘Why are you not writing? She’s been staring at you for some time now,’ he leaned in and whispered, referring to the professor. He nodded at his friend in a disconcerting manner, and tried to pick what the teacher was saying. She was talking about the Class Division according to ancient Brahmanical texts. He knew about the topic. He remembered having read something sometime. He tried concentrating for a few minutes before realising it was futile and gave up. He shifted in his seat a little so that the person in front shielded him from the glaring stares of the professor, and once again let himself to be drifted away by his thoughts.
*****So I see you have not accepted my friend request, he inboxed her a full two weeks after he had first sent her the friend request. She hadn't accepted it all this time even when she had been coming online and talking to his other friends.
It took the girl another 3 hours to reply. 'Um, sorry I didn't see your friend request.' The next second, she accepted his friend request, and they started talking. The boy prided himself on his ability with words. 'There's just no one quite like me,' he always used to say.
They talked about random stuff at first. School. Colony. Interests. Then he asked her, 'So, how d'you travel to college?'
'Umm, I take the metro.'
'So how about metro-ing together?' he asked.
'Yeah sure. While coming back, we could metro together. It'd be difficult in the morning to coordinate.'
'There's a solution to everything.' he replied.
'Okay, give me your number.' ****
There was a commotion in the class as he came back to reality. Someone had entered into the room. He shifted to get a clear view. It was one of his friends. Evidently the teacher was furious because he had walked in late, though she had let him sit. The friend walked up to where he was sitting, and dropped heavily into the adjacent chair. 'Kya baat hai? Aaj akele betha hai?' what's the matter? Sitting all by your own? He asked him.
'Aise he,' he replied. Just like that.
*****'Why d'you always sit at the front? Don't you get bored?' he whatsapped her. They had been whatsapping for a few days now, but for some funny reason, barely acknowledged each other in college. The plan to metro together had proved to be futile. In the class, while he sat with his group at the back, she would always sit at the front, and hardly ever talk.
'You have no idea how boring it is.'
'Then why d'you sit at the front? Sit at the back. Trust me; you're missing out on a lot of fun.'
The next day, he got late for college. The first lecture was already halfway through when he entered with his friends. The classroom was full and thus they had to go stand at the back. The lecture was one he particularly detested so he began searching for her. He scanned the first two rows, but did not see her. His heart sunk. Dejectedly, he began looking for his other friends... Once the class got over, he would grab an empty chair and sit with them. Then his heart skipped a beat. There she was! Sitting right next to where he was planning to sit...*****
'Why are you distracted?' asked the professor, as he snapped out of his waking dreams. 'You should be writing.'
He nodded stupidly and looked at the open register in front of him. He didn't realise he had started scribbling random stuff along the margins. He looked at the time. Only thirty minutes had passed. He frowned. The time did not seem to pass at all. A far cry from the day when she used to sit with him and the entire day would pass before you'd even know.
She had started sitting with him since the day he had walked in late and spotted her sitting with his group. Since that day, slowly but surely, they had started coming close. By an unspoken consent, they had started waiting for each other at the metro station in the morning, sitting together and hanging out together, and leaving college together. In other words, they had come a long way. Everything had been going good and great before it all just fell apart.
His phone vibrated. He looked at the screen. 1 New message. It was from her.
'Are you pissed?'
'No'
'Yes I can see that. Tell me?'
'Nothing to say.'
'Tell me.'
'I don't want to go over the same thing again and again'
To be continued… !
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